Dating fail

Just like with flirting, the dating scene is something I know very little about. Typical outings seem like interviews, but with more awkwardness and (hopefully) sexual tension. I normally don’t date total strangers, but when a guy helped with a car-starting situation and asked me out to lunch, I couldn’t say no. Trying to eat noodles while fielding a slew of hard questions turned out to be less pleasant than this sweet pea makes it look:

Ok, so he didn’t ask that last one, but he should have. Even though I suspected he might be a republican, I agreed to a second date (what? he had eye fat). I don’t know what made me do it (lack of a soul, probably), but after seeing side-by-side toilets in the women’s restroom, I told him we needed to take a picture in there. It was just too good to pass up. We did two takes and on the second one, I decided we should pull our pants down. You know, for authenticity. I have no idea what he must’ve been thinking… “By George, this bitch is weird” or “She’s gonna jump my bones!” Whatever it was, he didn’t pull down his red undies.

Authenticity fail. I didn’t intend for that antic to be a test, but it turned out to be one. I feel bad for the guy, he was a pretty good sport but I’m just too strange for his innocent soul. No second beer, no third date.

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