Archive for December, 2008

Transportation breakdown

Posted in Uncategorized on December 28, 2008 by Cristina

whooosh

Going around German Autobahns & teeny city streets the last few years taught me to drive like a bat out of hell on highways and a crippled bat out of hell in cities.  The latter wasn’t a problem when I was visiting my parents in Phoenix because there are so many ooooold oooold people there, my slowness was fine.  Unfortunately, I hadn’t even driven a car in a long time so when I got on the highway, ummm, I really went for it.  Not my fault that their Volkswagen is too smooth a ride (my old car shook violently at 95-ish mph) and the Valley of the Sun is now riddled with radar cameras.  Yes, I got back in the driver’s seat and within a few hours, my picture was on its way from the DMV to my parents’ house, arghhh!!!  There’s nothing fun about driving 58 miles from my friend’s house to the other side of the city at 1am at 65mph, nothing except the classic hip hop station.  Not only was I bummed about this ticket and how huge Phoenix is for NO good reason, but I also ran into public transportation lameness back in NYC as my plane was delayed, the airport tran was broken, waited an hour with disgruntled travelers to get to Penn station, and the last straw was the L being broken… I succumbed and took a taxi.  Like I’ve said before and I’ll say again & again until my dream to fruition: hovercars!  Let’s get those up and running already so I don’t have to put up with this $H!+ anymore.

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Explosions in the Sky!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 27, 2008 by Cristina

A great band AND what happens twice a day without fail on the Sea of Cortez.  Despite the bullshit name for a body of water, this place is unreal and I’m glad I took the trip to check on the progress of the house my parents just built there.  I’m a bit conflicted about being a white person building on these peoples’ rightful land and driving through their slum village on my way home.  Story is that the land was a gift from the Mexican government to the current owner’s family after the Revolution, and I’m sure he’s not selling it so that I can share in its infinite beauty.  In any case, I’m thankful that the evening explodes like this:

nightsplosion

And the morning like this:

duskplosion 

whale munchies

Now if only there were a way to keep the whales from dying and washing up on the shore (although their bones did make a good breakfast seat)…

 

 

idiocy

 

…and for the love of God, this pedestrian crossing sign next to the disgusting border fence needs to go.  The fence needs to go more than the sign. If all that happened, I’d be able to enjoy those sky-explosions with a smaller twinge of guilt.  F-ing Cortez!

Why…

Posted in Uncategorized on December 26, 2008 by Cristina

Did I take a 10 hour round trip drive to Mexico with my dad just to spend a day there?  To see some of the weird, the tragic, and the hilarious that the communities of the Sonoran desert have to show me.  First, the weird: on the drive down south, we pass through a town called “Why” that I later learn is named after an appropriately shaped (Y) intersection of roads that have since been rebuilt into a T shape, lame.  I propose we change the name to “Tee.”

Tee

But I guess the drive is relatively boring so this town’s name is a welcome bit of entertainment. Next up, a sad sight of this puppy, let’s call him Orphan Pepito because he looks it.  It’s so odd how dogs multiply rampantly and roam freely as you go into Mexico, via “Gringo Pass” which is crudely stenciled on Pepito’s trash bin resting spot. sigh.

Pepito

Do I?

After driving a bit more, I stopped thinking about Pepito’s plight and found some much-needed comic relief in the form of a ludicrous parking sign: “Do you REALLY need to park here?” it asks me… as if I should take a while to mull over my handicap, whether it be pregnancy or a big ass.  In addition to siestas, I’m liking this flexible approach to laws. I know it bleeds into traffic bribery, but I haven’t had to deal with that yet so, keep the funny signs comin’! I’m ready to be given a choice about whether I really feel privileged to park somewhere.  ¡Mēxihco: full of sorpresas!

Arrested Development

Posted in Uncategorized on December 25, 2008 by Cristina

Having just watched the first season of this fabulous and unfairly-cancelled show, I couldn’t help but notice some parallels to my equally unorthodox family this Christmas:

1. I found myself wandering around my parents’ gigantic model-home-feeling-house alone since my parents were working/sleeping after work.  After some trouble locating the light switches (they’re truly midget height), not finding deodorant, and seeing some presents already torn open under the tree, I almost lost it.

2. My mom’s answer to my attempt at vegetarianism: make all the meat dishes extra delicious by wrapping them in bacon, thus making them irresistible to a budding vegetarian.  I still found a way to stuff myself while avoiding the bacon-wrapped cabbage rolls, the meat-suspended-in-gelatin dish, the ham hock beans and on and on and on.

3. In a fine example of a dysfunctional family seating arrangement, we the “kids” sat at the “kid” table in another room.  Never mind that we were a bunch made up of a podiatrist, an editorial assistant, a financial analyst and even a 30-something year old. Made me feel like I was this old:

Carnivore days

4.  After my failed attempt at trying out an American tradition of watching A Christmas Story, we appropriately watched not one but two Pixar movies.  Unlike the real adults, we maintained a stone-cold sobriety the whole evening, the better to recount the odd memories with!

Super-apes

Posted in Uncategorized on December 23, 2008 by Cristina

After finishing that great book about simians yesterday, it reminded me of a time when people looked more monkey-ish than I’ve ever seen them:super-spectators

I showed up to this charity pick-up soccer game called Showdown in Chinatown hoping to see sports greats like Claudio Reyna & Steve Nash (my athletic hero) but alas, everyone else in the neighborhood had the same idea.  This Neanderthalic scene was what I saw from my vantage point (tippy toe on the hood of a stranger’s jeep).  Since I was the first to climb on the car, other people were soon asking me if it was ok to get up there too… “Sure,” I said, “it’s not my car and it’s a jeep, meant for this kind of rugged stuff.”  The monkey fun ended when the cops came to herd everyone to safety and save unknowing car owners from stiletto dents (apparently Manhattanite soccer fans wear stilettos sometimes).  Although I didn’t see much of the game, witnessing everyone succumb to their climbing instincts was entertainment enough.  Thanks, Nash!

Torn

Posted in Uncategorized on December 22, 2008 by Cristina

Not just a catchy mediocre song, it’s how I feel about writing this blog.  I was torn at the very beginning when I thought “who’d wanna read this anyways” and I answered it with, “a handful of people” and even if it’s no one, it’s a worthwhile way of recording amazing memories, but why do it via public-high-tech-way and not just a journal?  Well, as I’m reading a book quickly (so I can give it to a friend who’s undergoing an existential crisis), it’s making me rethink this blog idea.  It’s possible that I’m wasting my time typing this when I could be out there feeling the world firsthand and adding to my list of awesome experiences.  Here are someone’s wise words, long before the time of blogs and digg and text-messages:

“Huge seas of talk of every sort and kind in print, speech, and writing, will roll unceasingly over their civilized realms, involving an unbelievable waste in labor and time, and sapping the intelligence talk is supposed to upbuild.” This Simian World by Clarence Day (1920)

penitentiary fun

I might need to start putting my time toward other non-technology-communication activities, yeah, this picture is of dudes in a penitentiary but what they’re doing is WAY awesomer than what I’m doing right now.  We’ll see, we shall see.

Animals Dressed as Humans!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 20, 2008 by Cristina

arghhh

This used to be one of my biggest pet peeves, it’s ridiculous. I took this picture in Central Park in Oc-freaking-tober when it was definitely not hoodie & boots kind of weather, especially not for dogs.  But here’s the thing: living in a neighborhood with so many badass-cuteasabutton-poofie-tough-inbred-playful dogs, I’m starting to come around and not mind their outfits as much.  Since I began hanging out with a French Bulldog named Jacques, I’ve softened up on this and actually find it endearing sometimes, and now that it’s cold, even more so.  Jacques, thanks for making me a more tolerant human being!  Here’s a sweet picture of him befriending another decked-out Frenchie:

awwww