Archive for March, 2009

Panda Pandemic

Posted in Uncategorized on March 12, 2009 by Cristina

triptych

Surely there’s an explanation for this. When a friend sent me the link to the insane illustration above, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My favorite animal in the throes of ummm… throwing up… ummm… rainbows. It seems to be three-headed, but hey, why not? Anything’s possible in the land of rainbow-panda-vomit. This scene is not only one of the most bizarre human-made things I’ve ever witnessed, but it also seems to be more widespread than I’d imagined. Below are more random cases of the bears ralphing mushrooms/boats and even killer rainbows that can penetrate armor. I have no idea how a disease like this would get started and I’m incredulous that talented illustrators keep spreading it.

arco iris threat

The giant pandas are sick and multiplying, this may explain why they’re nearly extinct.

Rat-Tat-Tart-Art!

Posted in Uncategorized on March 11, 2009 by Cristina

What IS art? One of those topics that people with berets and snappy fingers sit around and discuss? Well, last night I left my beret at home and gave my fingers a rest for a night o’relaxation that included a brief but interesting argument with some friends about what constitutes art. Can inadvertent creations by unwitting people/machines be called art? I say yes. Example: [compliments of Atanas Entchev, GIS (Geographic Information Systems) extraordinaire and art aficionado]

bloop

Instead of creating a map image, the zeros & ones of the GIS computer messed up, BIG TIME! The accident gave birth to this beautiful, intricate picture that was filed away as an anomaly, a blooper, if you will. Blown up to epic proportions and displayed in an exhibit with a beret-donning person explaining its significance, this could easily be considered art. While some people disagreed with me on this, I would congratulate neither the computer nor the guy who saw nothing of value in the glitch… but rather the person who gave it meaning and blew life into it. I’ve encountered this art-schmart issue before, best example below. Two photos I took within an amazing 30 minutes of each other–a feat possible only in cities as magical as Barcelona. Although both are excellent renditions of the male genitalia, one image is from a museum, the other couldn’t be further from it:

art

art

Not telling.

Happyness = pants?

Posted in Uncategorized on March 8, 2009 by Cristina

I thought I loved fortune cookies… they’re delicious, I always get excited about opening them and sometimes keep special ones. Lately, I’ve been starting to get more and more annoyed by their lack of actual “fortune-telling” properties. Take the most recent example:

front

Not only is this NOT a fortune, but I can’t even extract much meaning from it. Adding insult to injury, the back of it features useless information like how to say pear in Chinese — I have no idea how to pronounce this, will never remember it and even if I was trying to learn the language, I doubt this would be of any great vocab-building help. If this cookie knew ANYthing, it would at least know that 17, my least favorite number ┬ábecause it’s prime and looks like it could hurt someone, couldn’t possibly be a lucky one.

back

What I would like to see more of is one of two things:

1. Tell me what happens in the future and/or give me some wisdom (even in super-broken Engrish), thusly:

really?

2. Make me laugh, thusly:

Yey, pants!

So, fortune-cookie-authors out there, get your shit together and start predicting my future or start butchering English to the point of hilarity. Perhaps the awesome cookie examples I saw on this pee-your-pants-funny website are not imported to America; they should be! Because if pants ARE the key to my happiness, I deserve to know.

Midtown oddities

Posted in Uncategorized on March 5, 2009 by Cristina

For the most part, there isn’t much of anything out of the ordinary in my work neighborhood, lower Midtown. Next door to the fantastic Flatiron building and in full view of the Empire State Building’s nightly color-changing displays, close to any kind of chain/fusion/fast-food restaurant and surrounded by sweatshop-friendly chain retail stores, there isn’t much more that a working professional could want. But as a not-so-professional professional, I often miss the grimy quirkiness of my own neighborhood. To my pleasant surprise, the clacking-pumps and blackberry-callused fingers neighborhood I work in has the occasional gem of originality. Here’s one:

we're having fun, yes?

I know, I know, I couldn’t help smiling when I saw it either. It takes a special something to drag me out of my midday robotness and make me crack a smile…. this ridiculous antique store painting was just the thing. Whether these identically-clad gentlemen are having so much fun basking in the splendor of the mountains or whether they’re just enjoying a friendly game of “stick-up,” I dunno, it’s fantabulous! A painting of insane-looking grown men being sold next to a huge gold Buddha statue = great lunchtime entertainment for me. Thanks, Midtown, you’ve redeemed yourself!