Archive for July, 2010

Unmodern

Posted in Uncategorized on July 13, 2010 by Cristina

I know this isn’t an important world issue and sounds like a Seinfeld joke setup, but what’s the deal with all those outdated salon signs? My sister first pointed this out as one of her pet peeves and now I notice them everywhere. It’s been 20 years since long, rounded nails and clip-on earrings were en vogue, yet these images persist even in brand-new nail and hair salons. In fact, an interwebs search for these signs results in ridiculously old-school websites that look like B+ work from an HTML 101 class assignment. The choices range from blonde to brunette 90s vixens:

When I was walking around downtown today, I spotted the first unique-looking one I’ve seen in a long time. No, it wasn’t a modern design, but instead a farther throwback… to the roaring 20s:

I guess that afghan dog is supposed to remind us that his coat requires as much maintenance as her man’s. I think. Let me hypothesize that these establishments err on the side of way outdated rather than try to keep up with the lightning speed of modern aesthetics. After all, the heroin-overdose look was too quickly jostled out of favor by the androgynous one. I wonder if in 50 years I’ll be getting my bangs trimmed at a place covered in Medieval beauties throwing their braids out castle windows.

Thanks, interwebs

Posted in Uncategorized on July 6, 2010 by Cristina

One thing that makes humanity too complicated is the decision-making process. I have a harder time with this than some people, so last year for my birthday, a friend gave me a decision-making toolkit. It includes little notepads that prompt the decider (I’m the decider) to sort out thoughts like Pros/Cons, Deadlines, Consequences, etc. It’s a bit time consuming, but a good idea when the stakes are big like “Should I move to Portland to start grad school or move to Barcelona with my best friend?” When the decision is very straightforward, a simple flowchart like this one helps:
 
But when it comes to a seemingly-simple yet annoyingly tedious decision like what to make for a last minute dinner with friends, neither my toolkit nor a flowchart are appropriate. Interwebs to the rescue! I asked it “What the fuck should I make for dinner?” and it answered,
 
So much clearer than the analog Magic Eight Ball! I’d heard about this website before and thought it was clever but never thought I’d actually follow through with such ridiculousness. Tonight I did, giving my brain a rest and my stomach an old-school treat. Being human was easier because of technology, just like it should be.

Road kill/block

Posted in Uncategorized on July 5, 2010 by Cristina

A dream a few weeks ago turned into a mild obsession with an art project that no longer seems like a good idea. My wee twisted mind thought it would be fascinating to take photos of animals at play (preferably longer-haired, super active ones for a more dramatic effect) like this:

The details of the plan are fuzzy, but I’d either wait for the photographed animals to die (not sadistically, of course, just patiently) or obtain euthanized ones from shelters to taxidermy into the same action poses. Ideally, a final product would have been some beautiful golden retriever suspended from invisible wires, fur-sprayed and poised to catch a bird hovering above. A great deal of taxidermy skills (via a summer internship) and animal logistics/legalities/ethics considerations would be required. To some of my friends’ dismay, I decided to visit a reputable taxidermy place to discuss the feasibility of my animals-suspended-in-action idea with the professionals. Walking home freshly caffeinated, I just needed to grab the address and a notepad, then head straight to Artistic Taxidermy. The roadblock to this whole idea was the most dreadful roadkill I’ve ever seen up close, a mere three blocks from my house. The poor possum with its entrails lain on Belmont St made me gasp and cover my mouth in horror. I’d never EVER seen anything like that in the city and the timing of this sighting was a sign. If it hadn’t caused my heart and my stomach to panic, I may have interpreted it as a sign that I was on the right track with the idea. But alas, ’twas not the case and it seems that I may be too sensitive to carry out something so gruesome. For now, I will stick to visiting the place and learning a bit more about this strange practice with no further intentions of getting my own hands on critters. A woman with an iron stomach, Sarina Brewer, has been expanding the boundaries of taxidermy with creations like this one:
 
As disturbing as it may be, I take comfort in knowing that there are other people out there with a healthy imagination about dead animals. Tomorrow, I will venture to the taxidermy place to check out the immortalized creatures and the limits of my stomach strength.