Archive for February, 2011

Pasty party!

Posted in Uncategorized on February 27, 2011 by Cristina

A friend whose aesthetic and musical sensibilities I trust implicitly posted a link with this message today: “watch this video while you listen to whatever your favorite song is right now. you’re welcome. or as they say on the internet, your welcome.” Yes, thank you, because it made me happy and I’ll pass on the joy. So go ahead, pick a song, any tune in your vast and varied music collection… don’t worry too much about which one, almost any song will do and that’s the magic of this. Ready? Yeah, like do it right now. Ok. Now push play on your song, mute the video and indulge your senses.

Fun. I tried it with a few and was pleasantly surprised at how well they paired up… that is, except for Meat is Murder (’twas quite disturbing with its mooing intro followed by “this beautiful creature must die” bits). I won’t lie, I watched it several times with random songs like Weezer’s Photograph, Yo La Tengo’s The Weakest Part and Iggy Pop’s Lust for Life. Even if you’re not that into boobies (like myself), I think there’s no way to deny the entertainment factor here. If I ever get a projector, I WILL throw a soiree during which the pasties and pop will be hours and hours of fun.  



Posted in Uncategorized on February 25, 2011 by Cristina

How I feel every time I realize that my irresponsibility costs me a shitload of money. I woke up early this morning thinking, “Yeah, I’m responsible and have set my alarm and not pressed snooze so I can buy my sister Jeff Magnum tickets then be at school in time for an awesome conference talk about poetic synesthesia.” Turns out those things are adult playthings, not actual responsible tasks. My emails reminded me of library overdue fees (for books I don’t even want to read) and that I needed to FEDEX some recommendation letters for a student; by 10am, my incompetence as an adult had cost me over $100. I would estimate that over the course of my life, I’ve blown about $3,000 on the following things:

I fail as an adult way too much. These things are so easy to prevent and I could have purchased about 97 axolotls by now if I’d just paid attention to LIFE. Putting all mah books in a backpack and returning them to the biblioteca tomorrow. responsibility, here I come, tomorrow.


Posted in Uncategorized on February 20, 2011 by Cristina

No matter how exhausted or overwhelmed I feel with life, I know that I can easily pep myself up in less than 4 minutes. Magic? No, the Lambada!! It’s a song that I thought everyone knew, but from the confused looks I’ve gotten from some people recently, I’m guessing the 90 million views of this video might be mostly foreigners or heathens.

When I was eight years old, this song/dance was HUGE (and semi-forbidden); I wanted so badly to be that girl and I’m not gonna lie, I still do. I’ll wait to dream about freaky-dancing with that topless young brazilian after I grade for two more hours.

The worst things

Posted in Uncategorized on February 17, 2011 by Cristina

Normally, I’m normal and do normal things with my hands but I’ve done some really terrible things in recent and more distant memory. Since a friend just said that she was curious about my inner mind workings, it made me remember some truly disturbing things my brain has played out. In reverse chronological order, here’s the nasty:

1. I recently burned my finger in the oven. It hurt, I grabbed it and adrenaline rushed through my body, all normal physiological responses. When I let go and saw the little blackened spot I…. oh geez… smelled it and … ummm… it smelled good. The charred skin odor was reminiscent of old-timey pig roasts that I used to love so much (those of you not fortunate enough to enjoy fresh pig skin as youngsters, think chicharrones). I got mouthwateringlyexcited by my own burning flesh. Not a normal psychological response. 

2. In the spring of 2007 I trapped a German bumble bee under a glass and slowly let it die instead of putting it out of its misery. I shared my remorse back in the day and unfortunately, never planted flowers in repentance like I’d promised. Wrong.

3. The last one is so terrible that some of you might unfriend me, like, in real life. I’d like to make excuses for the following story by saying that I didn’t have enough toys when I was young, but that’s not a good one because no one else resorted to this. When I was 4 or 5 living at my grandparents’ house, I found a dead rat outside somewhere (you know, in my communist wasteland playground) and made a leash for it out of twine… and ughh… dragged it and its entrails around happily. You know, as my pet. For a week. Indoors. I tried to keep it hidden because, even at that age, I realized that it was distasteful to others. My cousins found out about the rat and one of them threw up at the table and my game was over. 

Turns out my brain is full of rainbows and death. 

We want to know everything

Posted in Uncategorized on February 16, 2011 by Cristina

I knew today was going to be such a long and hard day that I decided to take a one hour break and head to the brown bag lecture at the art museum for a little art therapy. I was the only one who actually brought lunch: awkward, but I suppose not as awkward as showing a roomful of people nude photos of yourself. This is one in a beautiful series by Wei Hsueh of her full-body scans called Imperfections of the Flesh on display in Chicago. A friend of mine commented that “They take photocopying your bum at the holiday work party to a whole new level.” Indeed.

Part of the lecture dealt with the less beautiful and more grotesque, namely the Chinese practice of wearing clear nylon socks with fancy sandals. It would be too hard to explain why I found this bit fascinating (without a photo, which I can’t find), but let’s just say that it’s their equivalent to the Western socks/Birkenstocks transgression but with an Asian philosophical approach. I was so surprised that this topic could be the subject of a photographic study AND be the research interest in a Duke-published paper entitled The Dual Consequences of Cultural Localization: How Exposed Short Stockings Subvert and Sustain Global Cultural Hierarchy (not mentioned in the lecture, just my finding). Ate my lentils, saw amazing things I’d never seen before, learned that people can be interested in anything. ANYthing. Humans, ridiculously awesome. Now, back to more useless yet interesting ventures… my paper about how Peruvian art seriously twisted European images of the holy. I think she might be wearing sandals with socks here.

Too much not enough

Posted in Uncategorized on February 14, 2011 by Cristina

The problem with fun explosion over the weekend is that it makes the following week seem bleak in comparison. With my college hairdoll in town, Thursday night’s Mortified storytelling was a hoot, Friday’s everything was great, Saturday’s First Annual Emusication Proclamation was heaven on earth (if you were there, you know this and if you weren’t, I wish you had been), and Sunday’s Cotton Jones show also fantastic.  
From where I’m sitting, the only way to fix this is to:
a) Do more work on the weekends
b) Get some sunshine during the week
Short of a planetary shift, it looks like I might have to buckle down with option A or stop whining about the sine wave of fun.