Archive for July, 2012

Learn about America in 5 minutes!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 28, 2012 by Cristina

If you only have 5 minutes to cure yourself of the blues. Or if you only have 5 minutes to prove to yourself that [us] internet people have too much free time on their [our] hands. Take 5 minutes to see why aliens will certainly decide to obliterate us all in lieu of living among us when they arrive. Or if you’re a new or soon-to-be immigrant to this country and want to know about your neighbors, watch video 1 first… then video 2.

Impressive, right?
Now, a slightly different version:


America! Land of the talented and foolish.

Fire things

Posted in Uncategorized on July 12, 2012 by Cristina

I’ve been thinking a lot about dying (this is not new) and more specifically, dying in a house fire (this is new). Not long ago, a house around the corner burned and someone died, so that made me randomly cry for a few days. That tragedy made me notice that my own home is a cozy crucible.

The smoke alarm had been serving only as a dinner bell, so I dismantled that shit. Also, I have an unreasonable number of full oil lamps (which I attribute to communist-era nostalgia), just in case the power goes out and I need spotlight-strength lighting. With these things heavy on my mind, I decided to participate in a project called The Burning House, in which people decide what they’d rescue if they had to flee from a house fire. Here’s the precious list:

  • Maxx: one-eyed oversized cat (would make it extremely difficult to carry anything else)
  • Scrooge: one-eyed dirty stuffed koala I got when I arrived in the US
  • External hard drive: my memory fails me, so I need those photos
  • Peeing boy figurine: only thing I have from my grandpa’s house
  • Childhood photos: they look like they’re from the 1800s (AKA the 80s in Romania)
  • Passport: pain in the ass to replace
  • Car keys: I’d probably wanna go on a wee road trip after
  • Silver spoon: made by a dear friend
  • Gold ring: too many ladies have worn this for too many years for it to burn

This list was surprisingly short and easy to compile. I realized that I’d actually be ok leaving it all behind, save for the cat, who would undoubtedly be trying to gouge my eyes out with his 26ish nails. I know, I’ll fix the smoke alarm.